In My Darkest Solace, Friends Are My Brilliance

I'm wondering if I'm right in my belief that all, or at least most, of us have once entertained the thought of leaving the world for good, especially in times when we feel that no one and nothing except memories are there to sustain our strength of minds and hearts.

I think that the greatest achievement for anyone is to be able to emerge at the end of one’s darkest tunnel unscathed and never the less wiser—a better person, a stronger Soul.

In the meantime I am still stumbling inside the darkness and murkiness of my own tunnel, trying to sustain my breath until I reach the end, I have no one and nothing but friends and memories to guide me through the end.

This is the reason I now regard my friends as lights. My friends are the flickers of light that compel me to go on, despite the obstructions and obstacles which lay before me.

Friends are my brilliance in my darkest solace.


“I've been watching me fall for what seems like years
Watching me grow small;
I watch me disappear, slipping out my ordinary world,
out my ordinary eyes,
yeah, slipping out the ordinary me”— Robert Smith, “Watching Me Fall”

- 8:45 p.m., April 19, 2004, Monday; Surrey, British Columbia, Canada
(While listening to "Watching Me Fall" by The Cure [Bloodflowers; 2000, Fiction/Elektra])