The Fourth of a Dozen Verses (December 9–20, 2004)

*Scents*
There's something in those scents
That in my heart transcends

Bittersweet memories
Kisses of the past

Badly broken hearts
Loves which didn't last

Inevitable tragedies
Forever will be mysteries

*Dilim*
Pagud na pagod na 'ko
Mga mata ko'y laging mugtô

Ang tigas ng ulo ng lolo ko
Mukhang mauuna pa yata ako

Di na 'ko makatulog nang maayos
Pagbabantay di matapus-tapos

Ni wala man lamang mayapós
Sa t'wina ako'y mistulang nauupos

Di ko na mawari ang aking nadarama
Galit-awa-galit-awa

Nasa pagitan ako ng dalawang demoño
Walang itulak-kabigin parehong talo

Sitwasyon ko'y parang wala nang katapusan
Kailan pa kaya panibagong buhay ay masisimulan?

Kunut-noo, kagat-labì, buntung-hininga
Kailan pa kaya ako muling makatatawa?
O makangingiti man lang nang ubod-sigla?

Pagong pa rin ang usad ng panahon
Sukò na yata ako sa mga araw na mapanghamon

Sana naman tutuo ang kasabihan:
"Sa dulo ng bawat lagusan
Ay may liwanag na maaasahan"

At kung iyan nga ay isang katotohanan
Sapat pa sana ang aking isipa't pangangatawan
Upang bagtasin ang kasalukuyang dilim
Na sa aking buhay ay nagpapakulimlim

*Apathetic*
How paradoxical life really is
I expect the unexpected
But I get surprised by the unsurprising

Trivial or controversial
Things seem to not matter anymore

Everything has become subjective
Everything has become relative

Or were they like that ever since
Only I haven't realized it?

*Molecules*
Snow doesn't excite me anymore
Rain doesn't inspire me anymore

But love, yes, love
Love is the magic
That bonds my remaining molecules

*Seven*
I tried so hard to understand
Why did it have to be us?

Your gift that year was a broken home
Gone in our lives then you were suddenly

I remember the tales you used to tell
There in my crib I would listen so well

An ode of forgiveness now gently plays
From me and them and her to you

Out of gloom Out of heaven
For years I yearned

It could hush us seven
Seven us hush could tears?

*Chained*
Sitting by the window in the children's room
Staring at the motionless and virtually leafless trees
And then as always crows and gulls and squirrels
Frolic and foster in their gift of freedom
Flying where their wings take them
Climbing the treetops hiding in the treeholes
While I—engulfed
In silence and imprisoned
In my own thoughts
Indefinitely

*Rebirth*
So many questions in my mind
Answers, would there really be, someday?

So many ill feelings in my heart
Comfort, would there really be, someday?

So many dreams in my mind
Fulfilled, could they really be, someday?

So many resentments in my heart
Forgiveness, would there really be, someday?

So many wounds my soul has
Healing, would there really be, someday?

So many scars left behind
Will my spirit survive nonetheless?

So many moments I felt I died
Rebirth, is there really such a phenomenon?

*Epitaph*
I'm a burning candle
I'm a two-week-old moth
I'm a jaded song
I'm a half-forgotten saga
I'm a half-remembered hero
I'm a millennium-old sequoia
I'm my ailing grandfather

fading...
...waning
ending.

*Rotten*
Emptiness is eating me
I'm a rotting emu egg
Solitariness is imprisoning me
I'm a rotting chinchilla
Loneliness is killing me
I'm a rotting narwhal
Immortality has left me
I'm a rotting corpse


*Kabanatà*
Báwat paták ng túbig sa yúngib
Ay luhà

Báwat kináng ng kaliskís
Ay tuwâ

Báwat álon sa dágat
Ay pangambá

Báwat kurbá ng hásang
Ay pag-ása

Báwat úkit ng pantíg
Ay litératurá

Báwat kampáy ng buntót
Ay panatà

Báwat kabanatà
Ay bágong alaála

*Bells*
Christmas is near
Is it?

Christmas bells are chiming
Are they?

Christmas gifts have been wrapped
So what?

Christmas carols are lingering
Very saddening

Christmas is near
Yet I'm far away

*Out*
Running out of words
Running out of ideas
Running out of strength
Running out of hope

Running out of dreams
Running out of inspiration
Running out of energy

Running out of running out of
Running out
Run